My story begins years ago when my husband and I decided to try to have a baby. We had a great deal of fun trying for the first year, but with no success. I thought that my weight was holding us back and I jumped on the fitness bandwagon on January 1st and worked my butt off, literally. I dropped 30lbs and felt better than I ever had, but our conception outlook hadn’t changed.

We went to a fertility specialist to see what was happening with my disobedient ovaries and discovered that our collection reproductive prowess is more effective than most birth control in *preventing* pregnancy. And our assisted fertility journey began.  Having a baby was incredibly important, but the hormones, forced rest and emotional turmoil took its toll on my newly fit body and psyche. With one cancelled IVF cycle under our belts, we pulled ourselves together to give it one more shot, but that was it. We knew we couldn’t cope through another cycle if that one failed.

In August 2006, the second round of daily injections began with an extreme dosage of hormones to rev up the egg engines. We got one fertilized egg for the efforts. When the clinic called to say that our one little egg had split into *two* cells, we celebrated like it was 1999. Those two microscopic cells were about to change our lives forever.

Almost 9 months later (a whole other story involving tena pads and a busted water heater), Gavin was born. He is an absolute miracle. I wouldn’t change him for anything.

But 20 months after giving birth to our miracle, I am a tired, overweight, working mom who wants to get her body back after years of fertility treatment, pregnancy, breastfeeding and post-partum depression. I look and feel years older than my youthful 36. My body is tired, my face is tired and I am tired of feeling this way. I should be enjoying this time of my life, but I am held back by my appearance. I want to enter my 40s with the same confindence I had in my 20s.

If I were to win the lottery tomorrow, I wouldn’t go on a tropical vacation or buy a fancy car, I would hire a personal trainer and get a few facials. Then, I could enjoy that vacation in my bathing suit or put the top down on my fancy car.